How About Letting Yourself Off the Hook?

Let’s face it, we’ve all had a very stressful year.

I know that I’ve had my emotional ups and downs and I’m learning to give myself a break during these crazy times.  Then I started asking myself why I only give myself these breaks when I am stressed?  Why not all the time so that I don’t GET stressed!

Makes sense to me!

As I started to assess the things I NEED to do in my work life and personal life, I realized that there are things I could let go of completely and others that I could just back off of a little bit.  Just the thought of doing that made me feel like  weight had been removed from my body.

You know that feeling? When your shoulders become lighter and you can stand a little taller. 

So what are some of the things that maybe, just maybe could be let go of? I know that I have a long list but I reached out to my friends when I started thinking about writing this to see what they thought.

I posed the question: If you could let yourself off the hook for one thing next year, what would it be.

First of all, they loved the question and everyone put some thought into it. Here are some of the bullet points:

• Worrying about what other people think I SHOULD do

• Feeling badly about gaining weight

• Not putting on make-up every day

• Thinking I could have done better at something

• Not worrying about the latest fashion when I leave the house

• Making my priorities priority

I love all those answers and decided they belong on my list as well.

Here is some of my list based on the self-imposed pressures I have put on myself this past year:

• Not doing yoga EVERY day

• Not doing my Spanish lesson every day

• Watching TV when I should be doing something work related

• Not going outside everyday even though I know it’s good for me

Now, I realize that a lot of us have much bigger things to worry about right now then the lists above (Rents, car payments, finding a job… and the list goes on).

But that’s my point.

When we HAVE to worry about the big things… if we let ourselves off the hook for the little ones we will just feel better.  Who doesn’t want to feel better right now?!

Tell me, what’s on your list? 

Stress Shopping: Who Can Relate?

So, like everyone else, I’ve been stuck at home for awhile with outside tensions mounting, people divided and not knowing what to think. Where do I turn in my times of great stress? Online shopping.

Sound Familiar?

Don’t be ashamed.

In times of stress, it’s natural that we turn to the things we believe will make us happy. THINGS being the operative word.

I don’t know about you but 2 extra yoga blocks, new pillowcases and an assortment of a dozen scented candles are not going to make me happy. They may ease my “pain” temporarily, but they aren’t a solution.

It’s like a balloon deflating.  The anticipation of waiting and receiving something that makes us “high” but as soon as that package is torn open and made its place in your home, the elation subsides and the anxiety is bound to return.

My latest guilty pleasure was buying a T-shirt from the Camp I went to when I was a teenager. Do I NEED another t-shirt? Absolutely not! Did I HAVE TO HAVE this particular t-shirt?

100% YES.

I further justified the expense because proceeds were going to help COVID Relief.

You can create an emotional attachment to an object because it momentarily distracts you from what you’re feeling.  The thought of wearing this t-shirt brought me back to a much simpler time and place when my only worries were if I would see the boy I liked or if I had to get into the cold lake that day.     

Who wouldn’t want that?   

I got so excited about this t-shirt that I actually starting thinking about a Facebook post where I could  tag all of my camp friends and make them want to sing the theme song with me: “W that’s the way it begins” - a little nutty I know but I’m sure you get the point.

But, again the feeling is short lived because happiness is not an object, it’s a state of mind and is not dependent on possessions. 

Advertising is geared towards making you want (and even worse) believing you need things to make your life complete.

We all get sucked in. 

TV ads, Pop up ads, Facebook ads, are all telling us that we need this THING to be better, to look better, to feel better.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!   Things don’t add quality to your life 

Next time you feel badly and you want to cheer yourself up instead of shopping, decide to be kind to yourself, take it easy, and seek out activities to change your state of mind.

I’m going to DO more yoga with those new blocks and I will relax and soak in the tub more while enjoying the scented candles.   And YES, I will dance around in my T-shirt singing the camp song.

What will you do for you?

Want vs Need

What do you think is more powerful:  WANT or NEED?

I have been thinking about this ever since I started writing my Closet Sales Class...WHY? because I was taught one thing a long time ago and now I am hearing that it is wrong.

Years ago when I was being trained as a Closet Designer, I was always told to sell not just to a need but to "the need behind the need".  For example:  Someone may need more space in the closet.....but the reason behind it may not be the extra space itself but the fact that she and her partner dress at the same time in the morning and bump into each other, get on each other's nerves then fight.  

I always thought that was a pretty powerful selling tool.......BUT.......not everyone will be forthcoming with their "issues". So that just leaves you selling to need. 

I started thinking about my buying habits.  I would say that nine times out of ten, I will buy something I NEED before something I WANT. In my mind that seems like the logic decision? Don't get me wrong....I buy things I want all the time.  I simply prioritize.

So what happens when it comes to big ticket items?

I have been selling closets for years and have been selling to "Needs" pretty successfully and now all of a sudden everything I read about marketing says that people buy what they Want....not what they Need!

Have budget considerations flown out the window? Do I stay quiet while a client packs their closet full of useless accessories they don't need?

I am confused!  What do you think? 

5 Reasons NOT to be Afraid to Hire a Professional Organizer

Many people say to me "I really need your help but I am afraid to have you come over".....and all I can think is really? Am I scary? LOL.  

Fear is a very strong emotion and one that can really hold us back from making changes or difficult and uncomfortable decisions. I know what I deal with and I would imagine my clients will deal with the same things:

• Fear of change
• Fear of letting go of something
• Fear of loss
• Fear of not having enough or not being able to get more
• Fear of  dealing with buried emotions

And YES, de-cluttering and organizing your life can raise some of these deep issues. As professional organizers we are here to help you through that...it's what we dedicate our lives to. Here are the 5 reasons why you should NOT be afraid to work with us:

1- We don't judge: We got into this profession to HELP people not to judge or ridicule them. We take pride in being able to motivate people into creating new patterns that will make their lives easier and more efficient.

2- We have seen everything: People are often under the false impression that they are alone in their situation.  If that were the case, Professional Organizers would not stay in business. There is really not much that will shock us!  

3- We are not perfect: I can't speak for all organizer but to be truthful sometimes.....my own life's organization will turn into chaos.  It happens to all of us.  We just have been taught the skills to get things back on track quickly.

4- Your appointments are confidential:  You don't have to worry about people finding out what you are doing or what you are working on.  What happens during your appointments stays at your appointment!

5- Our bark is worse than our bite:  We may give you a lot to do and think about and expect positive results. We are merely the facilitators...you don't have to worry about disappointing us.....it's all about YOU!

If you have any questions about working with a Professional Organizer, please feel free to contact me!